Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Health Insurance, Defiant Hair and Traffic Lights - A Disgruntled Writer Shares a List of Grievances

When feeling irritable, it often assists to dump all over those closest to you. However if they are not around or tired of listening, there is always the trusted Mercury reader to kick to. The purpose behind this fulmination is entirely ego serving. First, I have got got a echt desire to air out my soiled wash before the full community and I trust you will commiserate with me. Second, I could not believe of anything else to compose about this week, so bear with me as I venture through my listing of kicks and grievances.

New trousers often have a gross sales tag sewn into the waistline on the dorsum side of the apparel, with yarn a different colour than the residual of the garment. These tags clearly must be removed before the trousers can be worn. Perhaps I am mentally challenged, but I happen it incredibly hard to draw those togs out of the fabric.

Case in point: I recently establish myself on a weekday morning, fresh out of the lavish and running late for work, armed with a brace of supercilium pincers in one manus and brace of scissors in the other as I struggled to pull out bantam achromatic togs from the waistline of a pair of achromatic slacks. I picked at the cloth for what felt like an infinity only to give up in despair.

Determined to have on my new pants, I felt compelled to bind a sweater around my waistline to conceal the frayed stuff and ugly threads, now more than seeable than before after being tugged at relentlessly with a brace of supercilium tweezers. I be given to bind sweaters around my waistline most years anyway, but usually the intent is to conceal my rear end, not my apparently compromised intelligence quotient when faced with yarn removal. I am ill-defined as to why the maker makes not utilize yarn the same colour as the pants. For example, with achromatic pants, why not utilize achromatic thread? If anyone have an answer, delight contact me at

I will now switch gearing and present you to my theory on drive-through windows. I have got two points to stress on this issue. First, drive-through lines are always ridiculously lengthy, and I cannot figure out why, especially when there is cipher waiting on line at the counter inside the venue. Second, on the rare juncture that I am lazy adequate to forsake clip efficiency in favour of the comfortableness and convenience of my vehicle, I inevitably happen myself parked behind a monster sized SUV with a defeated female parent and one-half a association football squad inside. Again, if anyone have some penetration regarding this issue, delight contact me at

The adjacent subject to be covered is human hair. Why makes human hair love to withstand the laws of gravity? If you force it down, it protrudes back up. If you seek to curve it, it falls down flat. If you iron out it straight, it immediately turns frizzy. By the clip we halt protective what we look like, the hair either turns gray, falls out, or both. Then there are the lucky ones, who never have got a single hair out of place, despite the weather, season, or clip of day. Personally, I get and end each twenty-four hours looking like fathead the buffoon after being electrocuted. Why don't chases have got this problem? Any suggestions from the perfect hair people would be greatly appreciated; delight forward all helpful advice to above electronic mail address.

Traffic Light Theory: You can pretty much stake your life on this theory. If you are running late, in a awful hurry, lost in an unfamiliar vicinity to the point of panic, or despairing to happen a bathroom immediately, all visible lights will turn red. Alternatively, if you are unfashionably early, headed someplace you really don't desire to travel with plentifulness of clip to spare, apprehensive to happen an indispensable point buried under hills or debris on your rider seat, or dying to take a bite of the juicy cheeseburger still fully wrapped and balanced between your knee joints as you drive (the 1 you hungrily anticipated while waiting forever behind a monstrous SUV on a drive-through line), all visible lights will invariably turn green.

Health Insurance: I cognize I am not alone with this peculiar problem. I am 5 ft 5, 107 pounds, a non-smoker, exercising regularly, and have got never been hospitalized, required surgery, or undergone treatment for a serious medical condition. One take a day-to-day multi-vitamin, seek to eat healthy, and experience quite well most of the time.

Being self-employed, I have got not filed an coverage claim in many years, as all my medical measures are out of pocket expenses. However thanks to a trusted friend known as the MIB (Medical Information Board), my recent effort to buy an individual wellness coverage policy led to my find that I am in fact agony from respective in progress medical statuses that my physician never told me about.

Thanks MIB, I appreciate your highly painstaking record keeping. If I am a high hazard campaigner for an coverage policy, I say only the unborn foetus would be considered low risk, as it have not yet experienced the dangers of agnails and airless noses. All inquiries and concerns can be directed to If you are fortunate, you can also be declined wellness coverage or robbed blind, and as an added bonus, you can detect all your secret complaints that the MIB have got carefully documented for you.

Following is Dr. Risa's simple theory about wellness insurance: If you are ill and in desperate demand of wellness insurance, you can't have it. If you are well and in demand of wellness insurance, the MIB will happen you and inform you that you are in fact sick. If you are ego employed, uninsured and relatively healthy, set up to stay uninsured and relatively healthy, avoid heavy physical objects careening out of windows, or sell your place and pitch a collapsible shelter on the beach. If you are ego employed, uninsured, and seriously ill, see the following:

- Seek employment with a big corporation immediately and bask the benefits of your new grouping policy.

- Start your ain business, happen a lower limit of 15 friends to employ, and use for a grouping policy together.

- Find a very affluent friend and be exceptionally nice to them.

- Plan your funeral. The money you salvage on expensive medical treatments can be used for a nice casket.

- Move to Canada, Europe, or Central America.

Pleasure Theory: If it conveys you pleasure, it will do you fat, give you cancer, Pb you into debt, or cause you to lose ego regard and societal standing in the community. It experiences bad, boring, painful, or frustrating or causes you dread, it is healthy, respectable, necessary, imperative, the "right thing to do" or required of you on a day-to-day basis. To simplify, just retrieve my cardinal rule: Feels good- you can't have got it; fees bad-you are stuck with it. Nothing is certain but death, taxes, weight gain, dental visits, desk clutter, soiled laundry, and paperwork.

Finally, here is my farewell petition for all of you loyal Mercury readers. When you contact the MIB to bespeak a confidential listing of your medical statuses (the 1s your physician forgot to inform you about), delight don't state them that when I was twelve, I accidentally spot my lingua while attempting to eat a frozen snicker's bar. I am still trying to use for a policy and I really don't desire to messiness things up.

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